Help I'm Being Eaten by the Blob

We all have those things in our life that we are not proud of. The past events, the hidden issues, the shameful actions that we took years ago, or maybe just yesterday. These things are like a blob in our lives. Everyone has one a blob that keeps hanging around your heart. We do everything to try to hide it, decorate it, give it make-up to make it look nice, but it’s still there a ugly Blob!

This blob doesn’t just sit there, it’s an active guy in there! He usually comes with some very strong messages that somehow  speak directly into your heart. Yes it is a talking blob, you’ve seen some science fiction movies work with me here… It is this blob that often keep us out of relationships. When we come to our friends, our spouses, or our parents it is the shame and guilt of this blob that keeps us from the intimate relationship that we so often desire. The blob says “your no good” “your phony” and even “If they only knew about me, they would reject me”. In many people’s lives the blob can get rather noisy. We even protect this blob, people start getting too close uncovering it and WHAM we are out of there before they see THE BLOB in our lives.

This blob also can keep us out of relationship with God. We know God is there, tugging at our hearts, leading us down a path that could change everything, but those same messages get that blob in our hearts screaming! “If everyone knew about ME, they would toss you out of here!” and even “God won’t accept you! Not with me around!”. If you are anything like me those message get me thinking something like this. “Ok God I know you want me to live for you , but I have this blob here. So what I’ll do is go do some spring cleaning on this blob, then I’ll come back and we can talk.”  Then I’d leave making promises to myself about being better and getting this blog under control.  Then the next time I’d be back again saying the same thing, only the Blob has grown and gotten uglier!! The BLOB never seems to get cleaned up on its own. Try as I might, I just can’t clean away that blob!

This morning I was listening to one of my favorite songs “Oh How He Loves Us” by David Crowder Band, and there is a line that spoke directly to the blob in my life. 

       "We are drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, if grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking” 

What does that  mean? Well let me try to translate. Redemption is a big word, but it could be easily translated “BLOB killing” it just doesn’t have the same ring to it for musical purposes. Grace is another one of those big tough to get a hold of terms, But let me put it this way. Grace is God knowing all about every inch of that Blob and completely loving you anyway.

Luck for all of us walking around with Blobs, that God’s grace is an ocean and we are all sinking in it. He doesn’t care about our Blobs, he doesn’t want us to clean up our blob’s first, he only wants US!

Next time you hear your blob talking to you, take a moment and think about looking into the EYES of God feeling that redemption and being washed in an ocean of grace. See if that quiets down that Blob and if you are able to enter into relationship in a different authentic way! Now that is true Blob killing!

(originally published 1/12/10)

Danger- Run Away!

I am not sure that I can say it any better than this sign! 

All too often I see teenagers, and yes even adults that feel like they can safely play around the edges of addictions without consequences. I hear comments like "I only get drunk when I'm at a party", or "smoking pot once in a while isn't a problem", or even "looking at porn every now and then isn't bad".

The problem with any of these statements is that you risk kissing a fish! OK, I can't say that I know too many people who actually kiss fish when they are using alcohol or drugs.  (Well I knew a guy who ate a live one once, but that's another story)   I do know to many people who have done things that are embarrassing, dangerous, life threatning, and many times have had things happen that are life changing!

In addition to all of those one time risks you need to take into account the risk of an addiction that could plague you for a very very long time! When you weigh risks these over any short term fun, or enjoyment the math simply does not add up! 

In Luke Jesus was teaching his followers and specifically talked about the consequence of "playing around with addiction" He said:

"But be on your guard. Don't let the sharp edge of your expectation get dulled by parties and drinking and shopping. Otherwise, that Day is going to take you by complete surprise, spring on you suddenly like a trap, for it's going to come on everyone, everywhere, at once. So, whatever you do, don't go to sleep at the switch. Pray constantly that you will have the strength and wits to make it through everything that's coming and end up on your feet before the Son of Man." Luke 21: 34-36 The Message

Ask yourself is it really really worth it?

Worry warts, worry cuts, worry burns, worry lives

Worry.... "I can't help it, I just have to worry it is who I am!" a mother told me recently. The problem was that her worry wasn't helping anything, it was actually so bad that it was driving a wedge between her and the rest of her family that she was worrying about. Of course the more there were annoyed with her worry and pulled away, the more she worried about them.

Worry is one of those things that many people feel like is simply a part of their make-up, part of how God originally designed some people as different as others. I don't know if this is true or not, but I do know that God doesn't want worry to stop us from living our lives. In fact he talks specifically about this in several places. Matthew 6: 25-34 talks about why we should not worry but the final verse (34) is the best. 

         Jesus says "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get

         worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with 

         whatever hard things come up when the time comes." (The Message)

Ohio newspaper woman Regina Brett recently wrote down her 45 Lessons she had learned during her 50 years of life. I wanted to share with you lesson number 40. 

"If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back." 

In the larger perspective of life here on earth, most of us have very little to worry about!  When we worry we take our eyes off of God. This is the bottom line, worry is breaking our concentration on what God has for us right now and placing it upon what we don't even know yet.  Furthermore, when we worry we tell everyone around us that "my problems are bigger than your problems" and thereby breaking down relationship with our family, friends and support system that are the exact people we will need in order to pull us through the next set of life's challenges.

If your life is peppered with out-of-control worry pray about it. Give your worry to God and look to what He has for you this very moment. Talk to someone, a friend, pastor or counselor about your worry to help give you tools on how to live every moment to the fullest. Don't give up! Most people who have lived with worry have done so for years and years, it won't go away all at once, but keep working on changing this pattern in your life!

Parenting- The adventure

Do you need this sign in front of your house? Or maybe in your living room! There are times I know I feel like my three kids are wildlife!

Parenting is an adventure! A crazy wild adventure that somehow seems to begin to answer the question: "how can you love someone so much can they can also make you want to pull the last of your hair out!" (it is one of the mysteries of God!). There are times that I look at my kids, often when they are sleeping, and I think "Wow, God how in the world did you create something so wonderful, so perfect?" 

Then there are other times, when I see one shove his brother, or talk back, or not listen, or the other million things children do and I say "Wow God, how in the world am I going to help these little people be successful adults?"

Last night I was reading a Bible story to my three kids, the story of the prodigal son found in Luke 15: 11-24. My three kids are all still young and this is not the easiest story to "edit" for young children's understanding, but I did my best. 

I told them that a son asked his father for money, left home, spent all the money on bad things, made some bad choices, then he decided to become pig farmer.  This is the point where my oldest stopped me and said "what's wrong with being a pig farmer?"  I sighed, rolled my eyes a bit and told him that this son was Jewish, and in Jesus' time Jewish people did not eat pigs, they did not touch pigs, they thought pigs were gross.  What I wanted to tell him was that pig farming would be like someone going out today and working in a strip club, or being a drug dealer.  It was one of the most un-Jewish jobs there ever could be.  This son didn't just turn his back on his father, on his family, but he turned his back on his faith too.

BUT... Then came the moral of the story!

"No matter what you do, God our father will always love you! And no matter what, even if mommy and daddy get upset with something you have done, we always love you, and nothing that you could do would ever change that!"

Take a moment today to tell your wildlife, ahh your children...young or old, just how much you love them! No matter what!  

First Day

The first day of school! These words come with a heap of anxiety, pangs of excitement, and yes even a few tears; and that is just for the parents! 

Kids emotions range from fear to thrills, nerves to joy! Each child is different, while one might be excited to go back, the next can't stand it.  One of the questions we hear all the time is:  "Why does my child seem to have a stomach ache every morning?" There can be lots of reasons for children to show anxiety about school and since kids usually cannot pin-point what is going on it can be very difficult for parents to figure out the problem and find a solution. Here are some things to look at while you are sleuthing to find the answer.

Social situations: How is your child doing making friends? Are they being bullied, or are they shy and take some time to make friends?
Social anxieties are common among children. Most parents can remember some awkward situations about friendships in elementary school, but each child is different. Take time to ask your child about who they like and don't like in their classroom. Find out why. If your child typically is slower to make friends make a point of finding opportunities for your child to get together outside of the classroom with some friend potentials! (play dates, or hanging out on the weekend can really help to start a great friendship). If your child is having difficulty with a bully in school try to teach your child how to be self confident, and at the same time reach out to the teacher with your concerns. (more about bullies in a later blog post!)

Educationally: Anxiety can arise from a difficulty with the material they are learning.
Talk to your child about what they are learning. What subjects they enjoy and what they can't stand. Find out why, what do and don't you like about it? or what is the easiest and hardest to learn? If you suspect a problem help your child work on it. It is possible they just forgot an important concept over the summer or are stuck on a new material and don't know the right questions to ask to get help. If the problems persist think about talking to the teacher for an educational evaluation. Remember all children can learn, they just all learn differently!

Reflect on your attitudes!: As difficult as this can be, your child will often reflect your attitude back to you!
If your first grader thinks that you will miss them terribly, and "won't know what to do without them at home all day." They can often find ways to stay home! Parent's attitudes are often a root cause of childhood anxiety! Check your own emotions and have a heart to heart with your child! Tell them that you will miss them, but how important school is. Tell they about some of your favorite experiences from when you were in school too!

Lastly don't hesitate to ask for help! Most teachers are very familiar with this issue, and school guidance counselors can give you some great tips and can help your child to relax once they do get into school!

(originally published 8/31/09)

 

Frustration Bringing Joy?

FRUSTRATION! I'm sure everyone can relate to a time where you are trying to get something done and it just isn't going the way it should! If it is putting together a last minute present Christmas night (parents I'm screaming to you!) or trying to make a website work, that frustration can just make you want to SCREAM!!! It seems as if you are so close, you can see the end in sight but you just can't quite reach it! How aggravating! But you know what, when I sit down and think about it I realize that is exactly how life goes many times.

We have a goal, a destination, or an event in mind that we think about, plan, and dream about sometimes for years. All the while life is going on around us, ticking by one day at a time. We strive hard for those days, events, goals of life and often feel the frustration when it is not quite working out!

Life seems to crash around us when we can't get it just right.

I once heard a story of some environmental workers who decided that they would "help" little defenseless baby turtles. The way the story went every year cute adorable baby turtles walk from their nest to the waves but this walk is fought with danger. Mean and not as cute birds and crabs gobble down the cute turtles by the hundreds. The environmentalists thought that they could help the adorable endangered turtles survive if only they removed this struggle.

One problem, they didn't know that it was the struggle, the long walk TOWARD their goal was important! Baby turtles as it turns out memorize something about the beach and location during their crawl and in 7 years, when they are ready to nest they will come back to the exact same location. When the helpful hands took away the struggle the turtles never returned and they may never mate or reproduce at all!

It was the struggle that made the goal worth achieving!

Next time you are in the middle of a struggle, or frustrated about the last steps toward a goal, remember the little sea turtle! Maybe in the end it will be the struggle not the goal that carries the reward!