After you have decided to get an accountability partner, or you have decided to be one the next question is, “What questions should I ask?”
I am going to recommend 6 simple questions to ask every time you meet. Of course you can add questions specific to your issues, or adjust the “free from ____” to meet your need. Again these are going to be focused on the issue of pornography, but can be adapted as needed.
Question 1: Where you connecting with God in the last week?
This is the most important question, and thus it is the first! Why don’t we start with how did you do since last time? Or even “Did you mess up?” Simply because this is more important! It is in the relationship with the forgiving Jesus that we will find the reason, and the strength to really break free. It is essential that accountability looks closely at this relationship!
Our relationship with Jesus ebbs and flows, just like every other relationship. Even if we wanted to we cannot live on the mountain top where we feel his love very clearly. The Bible guarantees that there will be times in the valley! It is in these valley times that we most need the help and encouragement of our accountability partner!
This question also helps accountability not only live in the past, but look forward! Feeling distant this past week? Then you can plan on increased temptation next week!
Question 2: If yes in question 1, how? In other words, how did you enjoy God this week? Reading? Prayer? Worship? Fellowship? Other? If not, why?
Dive deeply into your relationship with Jesus! Talk about your experiences with the Holy Spirit! If you are feeling the distance talk about how that can and will change in the week to come! This is the real “meat” of your accountability time together! And yes, we haven’t even got to “checking in” yet!
Question 3: Were you free from pornography since last meeting?
I love that the “right” answer here is stated in the positive! I know it is a subtle thing but I think it makes a difference! Of course if the answer is no, then it is important to explore how pornography got in and what can be done to close that avenue of attack in the future.
Question 4: Were you free from self-gratification since last meeting?
I don’t want to get into the debate over the Biblical stance on masturbation here, but I think this is a very important question for anyone wrestling with pornography or sexual addictions. Alcoholics don’t have a sip of wine, and people wrestling with sexual addiction shouldn’t masturbate. It just leads down a slippery slope, regardless of your specific spiritual, personal, or Biblical opinions on the matter.
Question 5: How did you experience temptation since last meeting?
Notice this is not “have you experienced temptation” it is how! Why? For two reasons:
First, we are told in 1 Corinthians 10:13 to expect temptation. Christian’s are not immune to temptation, and we clearly see demonstrated throughout the Bible that temptation is not sin.
Second, this question cuts through the “everything was great” attitude that often starts out accountability relationships. Once partners get used to hearing about times of temptation, it will be easier to admit when and if there is a fall.
Question 6: How did you experience God’s escape plan in that temptation?
Along with the rather depressing news in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that we will experience temptation God made a promise! He promised to “make the way of escape” apparent. This is a promise from God and in my experience he always keeps his promises! As you talk together you will learn to spot these “escape routes” during times of temptation. These can be simply awesome stories of God’s faithfulness! It isn’t everyday that we get to see a miracle happen right before our eyes, but in these little escape routes we do! For more on this topic visit “God’s Exit Ramp”
That’s it! 6 questions that can literally change a life! Try them out! Do you have any adaptation? Any other questions that you would recommend added? Let us know in the comments!
