First Day

The first day of school! These words come with a heap of anxiety, pangs of excitement, and yes even a few tears; and that is just for the parents! 

Kids emotions range from fear to thrills, nerves to joy! Each child is different, while one might be excited to go back, the next can't stand it.  One of the questions we hear all the time is:  "Why does my child seem to have a stomach ache every morning?" There can be lots of reasons for children to show anxiety about school and since kids usually cannot pin-point what is going on it can be very difficult for parents to figure out the problem and find a solution. Here are some things to look at while you are sleuthing to find the answer.

Social situations: How is your child doing making friends? Are they being bullied, or are they shy and take some time to make friends?
Social anxieties are common among children. Most parents can remember some awkward situations about friendships in elementary school, but each child is different. Take time to ask your child about who they like and don't like in their classroom. Find out why. If your child typically is slower to make friends make a point of finding opportunities for your child to get together outside of the classroom with some friend potentials! (play dates, or hanging out on the weekend can really help to start a great friendship). If your child is having difficulty with a bully in school try to teach your child how to be self confident, and at the same time reach out to the teacher with your concerns. (more about bullies in a later blog post!)

Educationally: Anxiety can arise from a difficulty with the material they are learning.
Talk to your child about what they are learning. What subjects they enjoy and what they can't stand. Find out why, what do and don't you like about it? or what is the easiest and hardest to learn? If you suspect a problem help your child work on it. It is possible they just forgot an important concept over the summer or are stuck on a new material and don't know the right questions to ask to get help. If the problems persist think about talking to the teacher for an educational evaluation. Remember all children can learn, they just all learn differently!

Reflect on your attitudes!: As difficult as this can be, your child will often reflect your attitude back to you!
If your first grader thinks that you will miss them terribly, and "won't know what to do without them at home all day." They can often find ways to stay home! Parent's attitudes are often a root cause of childhood anxiety! Check your own emotions and have a heart to heart with your child! Tell them that you will miss them, but how important school is. Tell they about some of your favorite experiences from when you were in school too!

Lastly don't hesitate to ask for help! Most teachers are very familiar with this issue, and school guidance counselors can give you some great tips and can help your child to relax once they do get into school!

(originally published 8/31/09)