Twisted Resolutions

This week breeds in all of us the desire to plan ahead, to look into the year to come and create resolutions.  Yes the mandatory New Year’s Resolutions!  What will it be this year?  Join a gym?  Lose 20 pounds? Get out of debt?  Improve your marriage?  These are all awesome goals, but did you make them last year?  How often do we make resolutions just to throw them out the window as soon as February comes around?   Now don’t hear me wrong, I think resolutions can be great, without setting a goal it can be impossible to get the kick-in-the-butt needed to create space in your life for changes.   So go ahead make your resolutions, but make sure to include time to make some twisted resolutions too…

What are twisted resolutions you ask?  Simple. 

Take 5 minutes and write down a list of 5 ways that you would like to improve your life in the next year….  Go ahead I’ll wait…

Great got your list!  

Maybe it looks something like this:

1)      I want to improve communication with my spouse

2)      I want spend more time with family

3)      I want read more books

4)      I want to go to the gym 3 times a week

5)      I want to read the Bible every day

Awesome resolutions right?  Now it is time to twist them!  

Rather than looking forward into 2011 and trying to figure out how in the world you are going to accomplish these tasks I want you to look backwards.   Take your list and think about 2010.  Write under each item 3 to 5 times in the past year when things went right!   Maybe they were not perfect they were not all bad either.   Remember that time back in October when you and your wife talked about that issue rather than fought, write it down.   Remember the great time you had playing monopoly with your kids?  Yeah, write that down too.  

Go through and twist your whole resolution list.  Have one goal that you are stuck finding a positive for?  Not so fast, if you wrote it on your resolution list for 2011 it didn’t come out of thin air.  Why did you list it as a goal?  We don’t usually resolve to climb Mount Everest if we have trouble making it up a flight of stairs.   Are there things that did happen in 2010 that give you encouragement that you can make this goal happen?  Write them down!  If not maybe you need to think about redefining your goal. 

Now your list should look something like this:

1)      I want to improve communication with my spouse

a.       In September we talked about our financial situation to plan for Christmas

b.      In October we had a great discussion about our sex life

c.       In April I felt heard when you asked me why I was stressed at work

2)      I want to spend more time with family

a.       Remember going to that coffee shop just the two of us last month?  I loved that!

b.      That day we were snowed in last January and spend the whole day playing games, that was great!

(You get the idea…)

After you have listed the positive steps you have made for 2010 you now you have a place to start for 2011.   You are much more likely to hold to resolutions and changes that already have a positive base for support!   When you twisted your resolutions you found places that needed growth, not just start from scratch change, but growth.   Ahhh but the twisting isn’t done just yet.

Now that you have your twisted resolution list it is time to put it into practice.   Take your list of resolutions and your list of 2010 positives and share it with someone:  Your spouse, your parents, your friends, someone!  Tell them about all of the positive events, the glowing examples that happened in 2010 that you want to build on in 2011.   Sharing your positive memories of 2010 with someone else will launch you 10 steps ahead as you then share your resolutions, dreams and goals that they can hold you accountable on for 2011.  

Frustration Bringing Joy?

FRUSTRATION! I'm sure everyone can relate to a time where you are trying to get something done and it just isn't going the way it should! If it is putting together a last minute present Christmas night (parents I'm screaming to you!) or trying to make a website work, that frustration can just make you want to SCREAM!!! It seems as if you are so close, you can see the end in sight but you just can't quite reach it! How aggravating! But you know what, when I sit down and think about it I realize that is exactly how life goes many times.

We have a goal, a destination, or an event in mind that we think about, plan, and dream about sometimes for years. All the while life is going on around us, ticking by one day at a time. We strive hard for those days, events, goals of life and often feel the frustration when it is not quite working out!

Life seems to crash around us when we can't get it just right.

I once heard a story of some environmental workers who decided that they would "help" little defenseless baby turtles. The way the story went every year cute adorable baby turtles walk from their nest to the waves but this walk is fought with danger. Mean and not as cute birds and crabs gobble down the cute turtles by the hundreds. The environmentalists thought that they could help the adorable endangered turtles survive if only they removed this struggle.

One problem, they didn't know that it was the struggle, the long walk TOWARD their goal was important! Baby turtles as it turns out memorize something about the beach and location during their crawl and in 7 years, when they are ready to nest they will come back to the exact same location. When the helpful hands took away the struggle the turtles never returned and they may never mate or reproduce at all!

It was the struggle that made the goal worth achieving!

Next time you are in the middle of a struggle, or frustrated about the last steps toward a goal, remember the little sea turtle! Maybe in the end it will be the struggle not the goal that carries the reward!